"Where Do You Feel That in Your Body?"
- Shezlina Haji
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
One of the questions I ask most often in therapy is, "Where do you feel that in your body?" Other variations are “What do you notice?” or “What’s coming up for you?” For some people, these questions feels natural. For others, it can feel surprising or even a little confusing at first. After all, if we are talking about emotions, why am I asking about physical sensations?
The answer is simple. Our emotions do not exist only in our minds. They are also experienced in our bodies.
Emotions are often accompanied by distinct physiological responses. When we experience emotions as fear, anxiety, anger, depression, happiness, pride, shame, or surprise, our bodies frequently react before we are even consciously aware of what we are feeling. You may have experienced butterflies in your stomach before a presentation, a lump in your throat during a difficult conversation, or a heart pounding in your chest when you were worried about someone you love. Perhaps you have felt cold feet before making a major life decision or noticed your heart rate increase when facing uncertainty. These experiences are not random. They are part of the way our autonomic nervous system responds to emotion.
Many of us have learned to think about emotions as something that happens entirely in our minds. We try to reason our way through difficult experiences, analyze situations, or convince ourselves that we should not feel a certain way. While insight is valuable, emotions are not always resolved through thinking alone. Our bodies often provide important clues about what is happening beneath the surface.
How Different Emotions Show Up in the Body
Everyone experiences emotions differently. These are some common physiological responses to certain emotions:
Fear might show up as a racing heart rate, trembling, tightness in the chest, or butterflies in the stomach.
Anxiety may present as muscle tension, stomach discomfort, restlessness, or other physical symptoms that seem difficult to explain.
Anger can feel like heat in the face, tension in the jaw, clenched fists, or a surge of energy.
Shame may show up as heaviness in the body, a desire to withdraw, or a lump in your throat.
Depression often presents as fatigue, numb sensations, heaviness, or a sense that even simple tasks require tremendous effort.
Happiness and pride can create feelings of warmth, openness, lightness, and energy throughout the body.
Even surprise has its own physical signature, often involving a sudden jolt of energy or a rapid shift in heart rate.
Researchers have even developed body maps that illustrate how different basic emotions are commonly associated with activation or deactivation in various areas of the body. While everyone's experience is unique, these patterns remind us that emotions are deeply connected to our physical experience.
The Less Talked About Signs of Emotional Distress
What many people do not realize is that emotional distress does not always show up in obvious ways. When people think about emotions in the body, they often imagine experiences such as a racing heart, muscle tension, or restlessness. While these are certainly common, distress can also show up in more subtle, unexpected ways that are often overlooked.
As a therapist, I am always paying attention to shifts such as:
body language
headaches
temperature changes like hot flashes or shivering
brain fog/difficulty concentrating
upset stomach
tingling or numbness
unexplained lethargy
increased sensitivity to light or sound
These experiences can feel confusing because they do not immediately register as emotions. Instead, they may simply feel like physical symptoms that appear out of nowhere.
I often see clients dismiss these experiences because they do not seem connected to what is happening emotionally. Yet these subtle changes can be incredibly informative. They are often emotional signals that tell us a great deal about what may be happening beneath the surface. Sometimes they point us toward stress that has not yet been acknowledged. Sometimes they reveal deeper emotions that have not yet been put into words.
One of the fascinating things about the mind-body connection is that some people feel before they can make logical sense of what is happening. Their body notices a threat, a disappointment, a conflict, or an unmet need before their conscious mind fully catches up. I often hear clients say, "I don't know why I'm upset," while also describing a headache, stomach discomfort, or a sudden wave of exhaustion. Rather than dismissing these experiences, I become curious about them and encourage clients to do the same.
When did the sensation begin? What was happening just before it appeared? Who were you with? What were you thinking about? What emotion might your body be trying to communicate? These questions often help us uncover emotional experiences that have not yet been fully recognized.
Why I Ask You to Stay With the Feeling
This curiosity is one of the reasons I ask where you feel an emotion in your body. I am gathering information while helping you slow down enough to notice your experience more fully. Another reason is to help clients to stay with an emotional experience long enough to discover something important: they can bear it.
Many of us have learned to fear our emotions. We worry that if we fully experience the emotion, it will become overwhelming or never end. What I often observe is the opposite. When we gently turn toward an emotion and notice how it is showing up in the body, we begin to learn that emotions are temporary experiences. They rise, peak, shift, and eventually pass.
A tight chest may soften. Muscle tension may ease. A pounding heart may gradually settle. Through this process, people develop greater emotional regulation, not because they are suppressing emotions, but because they are learning that they can experience difficult feelings without being consumed by them.
Learning to Listen to Your Body
I believe our bodies carry important information. The goal is not to become hyperfocused on every sensation or assume that every physical symptom is emotional in origin. Physical symptoms should always be taken seriously and discussed with a medical professional when appropriate. At the same time, our bodies can provide valuable information about our emotional world.
Learning to pay attention to these signals can help you better understand yourself, strengthen emotional regulation, and develop a healthier relationship with your emotions. The next time you notice a sensation in your body that you can't explain, consider becoming curious. What might your body be trying to tell you?
If you found this article to be informative, you may also be interested in some of my previous articles on burn out, anxiety, depression, anger, or boundary-setting. These topics often overlap and build upon one another.
I offer therapy in person in Calgary and online across Alberta. If you are interested in exploring your emotional experiences more deeply and strengthening your emotional regulation skills, I invite you to book a consultation or appointment. I would be happy to connect with you.
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